What got you here?
What got you here?
- Learning through reflection
- Fundamental questions to ask
- Understanding how the mind gets us to where we are
- Watch the video >HERE
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Today I want to talk to you about something that’s coming up a lot for people right now as they reflect and look forward to a new year in 2017. At the time I’m recording this it’s the middle of December 2016 and the question of not “What’s ahead?” but “What got me here in the first place?”
It’s a really important question that we should ask ourselves and the reason I want you to ask this question is because reflection allows for learning.
What I mean by that, is if you look back at the things that have happened for you – because remember that life is always happening for you and not to you. If we look back to what is happening for us, and ask these questions;
What can we see about the success that we had?
How did we get to that success?
Why did we get to that success?
What did it actually mean for us when we got to that success?
Conversely look at the learnings that we’ve had. Look at the things that didn’t go so well. What were the things in your life and in your business that really tested you, that really pushed you to your edge?
Looking at the same thing there of “how did I end up there?” and “why did that happen for me?” and importantly “What did it mean for me when that happened?” For the good and the bad.
Really taking the time to reflect on those things, not necessarily just for 2016 but also behind that as well. There’s probably a lot of time that has gone by without you necessarily truly reflecting on what happened, why it happened, how it happened, good and bad.
Today I want to take you through why you’ve ended up here, what’s got you here and give you some ideas to think about, so that when you’re looking back and you’re reflecting, as you come to the end of this year, you can do so with more clarity.
What I want to do with you today is essentially place you on a platform and spin you around 180 degrees so you look back over your life and you can see it really logically without any emotion attached to it.
I feel that often when we look back we do so with such emotion attached to it. That’s a conditioning thing. The emotion that we attach to the story which is exactly what it is when it’s in the past it’s purely a story that we held onto.
I want to allow you to step above that emotion and just see it for what it really is.
So there’s a couple things, key things, that I want to take you through in this short episode.
The first is; “How does our mind work to get us to where we are?”
I want you to think about this like a table.
If you think about an idea that you have to start with. Every thought starts as an idea, every belief starts as an idea. You’ve got this idea. Let’s just say the idea might be that you’re not good enough to build a business to a million dollars. Or that idea that you’re not capable of achieving the body that you want to achieve. It starts off like a tabletop with no legs, there’s no ability for the table to survive on its own. It needs the support of the legs. When we look around we find what Tony Robins refers to as references in his book “Awaken the Giant Within”. We look for these references that support the idea that we have. We might look around and see examples. Bear in mind that your brain is like a hard drive so every time you access and ask the question it’s going to pull up images that match the outcome that you’re looking for.
You might say to yourself; “I’m not good enough to have a business that’s worth a million dollars.” You’ll go searching for all the reasons why you can’t have a business that’s worth a million dollars, all these references to back up the idea that you can’t have a business that’s worth a million dollars and essentially what happens is you find these references everywhere. You find them from your childhood based on what your parents told you when you did something or didn’t do something as the case may be. You find them from school people who bullied you, you find them from examples where you have not had the outcome you expected and you saw it as a failure rather than seeing it as the feedback that it was for you.
These references then start to lift up this tabletop that was the idea and now all of a sudden it’s got plenty of support. You’ve got multiple references which support this concept, this idea.
Now, my friend, you’ve got a belief, because now you believe it because you find enough evidence to suggest that it is “real”. I say that in inverted commas that this idea is real. When we believe it really strongly, when we believe it strongly enough that then, becomes a conviction in some cases. We become convinced about this idea. This is something that let’s be frank, every one of these things that you’ve got in your life right now that got you to where you are they all started out as just a thought, they all started out as somebody saying something and your interpretation of how it was said.
You might at the time have just thought “oh that didn’t sound very nice.” Then you go away and your unconscious mind starts to tick “well what did they mean by that?” Or when that happened in my business what did that mean? Why did that happen to me? Why did I not get the same amount of people at my event? Why did I not get the same amount of clicks on my webpage? You can see quite quickly how those ideas can get reinforced by references and become a belief in no time at all. You have to, as Tony Robins says, “to get any real progress we must divorce the story of our past.”
You don’t marry the story, you must divorce yourself from that story.
So a couple of takeaways for you;
Have a look in your life right now at those beliefs that you have that have got you to where you are when you reflect. Ask; “what are the references?” Just ask yourself that question.
It’s a very basic question but just ask “what are the references?” Take some time again in reflection to journal if you need to. Get a piece of paper and write these things down that come up for you because it’s in the learnings that you’re going to get the progress.
It doesn’t always have to be about forward momentum. It oftentimes needs to just be stand still for a moment and reflect on what’s gone on and learn the lessons from it, this might be the catalyst that unlocks the next level for you.
In the next episode I’m going to talk about “Why it’s holding you back now and how you can shift out of that and move forward in your business and in your life.”
For now though, I want you to know that you can do this exercise. You can absolutely look back and reflect and take stock of what has happened and you can divorce yourself from the story. I’m going to show you how to do that in the next few episodes of the podcast.
If you enjoyed the show, please let me know. Please jump onto iTunes and leave us a review or your platform of choice of course. I just want to let you know also that we’ve relaunched anthonykirby.com be sure to take a look around.
It’s had complete redesign, there’s heaps of new content, including free downloads and some training videos for you and your business.
Until the next episode I wish you well. Please remember that all of the lessons in your life are what bring you the joy. And remember to enjoy the lessons that you learn along the way.
I am Anthony Kirby. I will speak to you again very very soon.